I have been out of school now for almost two years and it's been very hard. I've taken some online courses, but the truth is that my educational goals have begun to seem farther and farther out of my reach each day that passes. I loved going to school, I loved what I was going to school for (English Literature). I loved the feeling of accomplishment I got at completing each semester. I miss that feeling.
Being a mother has been a huge part of my emotional and educational growth over the last two years, and I've loved every part of it. My daughter is such a huge part of who I am, and she has taught me so much. She's even saved my life. And to repay her, I feel that it is my responsibility to be the mother she would want me to be.
Inspiration
I want to set an example for my daughter. I don't just want her to love me, and look up to me just because I'm her mother. I want her to be proud of me. I want her to aspire to any and everything she wants out of life, and to know it's possible because her mother did it too. I want her to live without fear, to live for hope. To know that the future is never scary, but always bright. Because no matter what life hands you; Your life is your own, and you have the power to make it as adventurous and beautiful as your heart desires.
I want her to know it's all up to her.
I've already completed enough schooling to know that it's not impossible, or even outrageous. It's just a matter of discipline and strength. It's wanting it enough that you'll stop at nothing, let nothing get in your way. That's what I've done over the last two years, made excuses. Been pregnant, had a new born, worked, been ill (LOL). Now there are no more excuses. My daughter has taught me that.
The future doesn't wait for you to make up your mind. It comes and goes every single day. Before you know it you have a past full of what if's and I bet I could have's. That's not the life for me. That's not the world I want to tell my daughter about, or introduce her to. I want her to know that she has all the possibilities of the universe at her feet, just waiting for to reach out and choose them. I want to teach her it will always be her choice, her life, her choices. And hopefully if I set the right example they will all be good choices.
So I'm gonna get back on track, and keep moving forward. With the hope that all my efforts will not be for nothing. That life will go on and things will get better. We will get our home, and start our futures. I can be the wife and mother I've always wanted to be. And the educated, intelligent young woman I always knew I would be. So that my daughter can grow up and lead a life that would make her proud, just like her mother did for her.
Until Then and Always,
Hopeful Mother. Of. Madison.
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