A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes

Oh the day I've had. First my poor daughter wakes up and does nothing but stare at the television for three hours. At first I didn't think anything was wrong. I was making breakfast and my husband was still asleep, I thought she was just tired. Maybe even bored. Kids these days. Besides Disney Channel morning programming always hooks her in. But when I went over to pick her up she was burning up. Poor baby has had a fever of 101.1-102.7 for the better part of the day. She's cooled down, and was feeling better by the time we got her to bed. But it's stressful none the less.

No mother likes to see her baby suffering. A mother suffers along side her children.

Now that I can actually think about something other than my making sure my beautiful baby girl is healthy and happy. It's time to share with you my other thoughts.

Belief. The last couple of days I've been having an internal battle about the differences between hope, and belief. I realized that although I am hoping with every fiber of my being that my wonderful little family will win our green home, I didn't know if I've actually been believing that Hope will be enough.

I realized that there can't be hope without belief. Or faith. That's what I need to have right now, enough Hope, and Faith in my heart that we are good enough. That the universe see's what I see. A wonderful, happy little family. Who haven't always seen the easiest of days, or been able to see a clear bright future without illness or suffering. A family who's ready to take the next step.

Every morning when I wake up I can't help but imagine a different scene. I can see it so clearly in my mind when  I go to sleep every night. It's almost off putting when I wake up in my same bed, in our little room every morning. But then I walk over to my daughters crib, and remember that's it all in good time. That there's something more meant for her. She's so amazing , and so strong. She doesn't even know it yet.

She can't quite comprehend how important to me she is. How many times she's saved my life. How many times she's taught me how to love, and forgive. Again and again my sweet bundle of joy teaches me what it means to live.

I swear with every fiber in my being that she will know these things. That she will know how amazing she is, and that without her our little family wouldn't exist. That without her, this dream would never have a chance of becoming a reality.

My husband and I fall asleep every night with images of open spaces, with rocky mountain views. Plush moss carpeting, and Organic bedding. Natural wood fixtures, and industrial accents. The things that have made us fall in love with the Master Bedroom of our future home.

SO very us!

The place where soon we will be sharing new dreams. Planning new futures, and hopefully where we will be growing blissfully old and more in love each day together.

The natural wood headboard makes me feel like I'd me camping year round. 

A place to finally call our own. Where we can shut ourselves away for brief instances. To really feel like a married couple. 

I can't wait to snuggle with my little family in this big bed. <3

A place where our daughter can come knocking on the door. Wanting to snuggle with her parents in the early hours of the morning. Or maybe late at night during a loud snow storm. Whatever her little heart desires. 

I just want to start feeling like a real family, I fee like we are in limbo, with all these uncertainties hanging over our heads. It's time we had some security. Some semblance of normalcy. If not for my husband and I, at least for our wonderful baby girl. It's time she had a home. A place for her family to really BE together. It's time.

Until Then and Always,

Hopeful Mother. Of. Madison.