Now this may seem like a strange and rather unenterprising reason to start sharing my thoughts with the world, or at least the few of you with the patients to care. But this isn't about the sweepstakes, the house, the odds, the money, or even the car.
This is about something far more exceptional. This blog is about a little girl. A little girl who was born into this world with all love and possibilities of the future laid at her feet. Or so her mother thought.
Three months ago I was diagnosed with Uterine Cancer, the Tumor was removed and my odds for a full recovery couldn't be higher. But somewhere between surgery, chemotherapy, and three Transient Ischemic Attacks I realized that my life and my love are not the only things my daughter needs to live the life I've been dreaming of giving her since the day she was born.
I have never won anything in my twenty three years of life. Unless you will allow me to count the heart of my husband. ( Which he tends to.) I am well aware of the odds of winning something like this nation wide contest. But something came over me when I opened the HGTV website, and clicked on that fated link for the beautiful Denver, Colorodo Green Home.
My daughter making rice crispy hearts with me for her first Valentines Day in Kindergarten on the island, swiveling on the barstool, refusing to admit whether or not she has a boy crush yet. Sitting in the lush cream chair in the Girl's Room while I brush out her hair for her first day of First Grade. Tucking her into bed and watching her sleep after the first day she decides that she would rather get up and go to school then stay home with mommy.
My daughter and husband swinging in the hammock outside reading Robert Frost, Star gazing. Her first attempt at reading her parents poetry in front of the fire place, so proud to not require any help on the 'difficult ' words. My daughter knocking on the beautiful beetle-kill wood door of the master suite at midnight to curl in bed with her parents.
My daughter and I sprawled out on the loft sofa watching Romeo and Juliet, asking me if a crush is really a first Love, and if all first Loves have to end in tragedy. Discussing poetry, love, and her favorite films while drinking Chai lattes on the front porch in the early months of spring.
These images, so simple, and strangely unfamiliar have stayed with me every second of every day since I looked at the photos of that home. I know that a big part of these haunting images is my longing to provide my daughter with a home of our own. But I've never felt so strongly about a space as I do now. For this home. The odds may be against me. I am not delusional, I will not give up if at this I don't succeed. But to make these dreams a reality would make me feel the pride as a mother that I've been longing for since the moment I held my baby girl in my arms. So for the next 49 days, enter with me, hope with me, and maybe we will all be surprised by the luck, and power of a mothers hope.
Until Then and Always,
Until Then and Always,
Hopeful M.other O.f M.adison
Thank you very much
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