Pessimism. Nothing can bring you down quite like music.
I'm not really sure why it effects people so much. But one Song, one really amazing song can completely alter your mood intensely. Can bring you out of one mind set, and straight into another. I'm usually grateful for this escape from whatever is haunting me, but lately it's not the distraction I'm looking for.
As I mentioned yesterday, Defying Gravity has been a big help in keeping my spirits and hopes high. But the days are long, and the weeks are even longer. I still have no doubt that my family will be happily situated in our new home come late June. But what am I supposed to until then.
It's almost becoming depressing to go to bed every night. To look around and feel stuck. To feel like this is all there will ever be.
But then I remember that as long as I have my little family, my sweet amazing husband, and my beautiful daughter nothing else matters. Because it would mean nothing without them.
This little angel
and this room.
Are the reasons for all of my hopes and dreams. So no matter how stressed I get, or how bad my brain hurts. This is what's important. This is what really matters.
So I apologize if I don't seem coherent lately. If you aren't finding entertainment in my words. I don't mean to be boring you. But the reality of life is that it's not easy. And it's not always happy, or entertaining. It's hard work. It's off putting, and sometimes it fucking sucks the life right out of you.
And the little bit of it I have left lately is going to this...
To our future.
To my daughter. To my responsibilities. To the life I'm living now.
Because soon my future will be the present, and then the past. And my past could use some happiness.
Until Then and Always,
Hopeful Mother. Of. Madison.
Dedicated To Dana Suzanne Littlefield
I love you, your daughter needs you, and misses you very much.
Love, Bri
No comments:
Post a Comment